Now one owes you a living; Less fortunated
Wednesday, November 6, 2013 @ 11:56 PM
Sorry, my third alter ego is talking nonsense about life, oh why. Just kidding, it just me.
Today is another dreadful day, if you managed to see a few post back, around this time of week, I get so frustrated. It's mid-week and another few more days to go and I'm like a walking zombie now, can I get featured in the walking dead, I swear I'll do a good job x_x.
Besides school, I literally just hate my life overall, yeah you heard me. This coming out from me is just super weird. My blog post are as if I have good friends, family and a great life but in fact I really don't. They say those we cheer people up, those who are the most cheerful are often the most lonely one. I can't help but agree. When a person experience loneliness for a long duration of time, they tend to do the opposite when they aren't lonely because we can't be 24/7 lonely even if we had someone to talk to. I myself experience that so much, I kinda hate it now. My mom is always working to strive a living for both of us, I know that and I can't say anything. Everything she does is for me and for us, being lonely isn't an excuse to stop or drag down my mom with me. I know everyone has their limits to strength, I'm very close to me, 16 years has drained 30 years of my lifespan, I'm like a old adult in mid thirties that is living in 17 year old shell, everyday is a struggle. I try not to think of negatives things but you know sometimes I just can't find the balance between being positive nor negative, it's a total mental breakdown. There are so many "What if s" that can happen. My mom is not young as the parents nowadays, she worked since 12, if that was me, I could have broken down by now, but she's working hard for me and I'm here just. screaming in my mind how life is so hateful. Behind all those jokes, smiles and laughter, what else do you see? I'm empty and hollow.
So, before you ever think you're less fortunate then anyone else, before you ever think you're such a loser, such a failure, you cannot achieve anything, cannot make friends, cannot have good relation with anyone or even feel like dying. Remember, there will always be someone in the same situation as you or even lower, much much lower. I've been there, so how about you?
Because living in this planet, everyday is a struggle.
11:56AM 131106
